Happy Birthday 3 Year Old

Now that your child is three years old you are noticing the sudden demands of what they want to wear and not wear. What feels comfy or what looks nice. You find yourself going about the same habits you have had in the past three years. You pick out your child’s clothes and you get your child dressed. Now you are all of a sudden dealing with a little monster upset that they do not agree with your choices. This often causes you to run late anywhere you may go. You feel frustrated and so does your child. It continues day after day. I have seen this reoccurring behavior over and over again and it persists for years sometimes right into adolescence.

Now imagine this. Its Monday morning. You need to get your child to daycare before heading off to work and your three year old daughter is playing and you want to help her get ready for school. She doesn’t like the outfit you have picked out for her to wear and she doesn’t want her hair in a braid. She wants pig tails and she wants to wear her Superman cape to daycare. You argue with her now she is crying. She won’t listen. You will be late for sure because she hasn’t even had her breakfast.

Answer this one question. Why can’t she wear that Superman cape to daycare? Is there a rule against it? Is it going to hurt anyone? The answer is no!! You are the only one that is directly affected by this choice. Oh and of course the child with the large imagination that you are suppressing. Are you afraid you as a parent will be judged? Well I will tell you that if anyone judges you they are the ones you should not care about.

I am on the other side . I am the one that you bring your child to every day . I listen to your child tell me she couldn’t wear that cape that she loves so much. I tell her that I wish I could see it someday and I truly do. I want to see her smile because she made a healthy choice based on her interest, creativity, and imagination because then we get to build on that. If you want to change every morning you have from here on out keep reading because I have some great ideas that work!! Start by going through your child’s dresser. This should be the only area your child has access to for choosing clothes for school. Sometimes it helps to hang up clothes in the closet that are off limits . You can even label your child’s dresser drawers “school” and “play”and create a school clothing area and play clothing area. You will want to definitely get rid of any clothes that you will not approve of like stained clothes or ripped or inappropriate clothing. You will need to go through the clothing regularly and teach your child to filter out things that don’t fit well because helping your child learn this helps you in the long run. It sounds silly but you would not believe the amount of children I see that never are taught these skills I mention In this article. The next suggestion is to have your child pick out what they want to wear the night before and lay it out for the next morning. Teach them that when they wake up they can get dressed by themselves. Remember let your child choose what to wear from the choices you have given. Let your child dress themselves. If your child cannot dress themselves that is another topic we need to adress. Developmentally a typical three year old should be able to dress and undress themselves and if your child is struggling with that area there may be a gross motor delay. I often suggest that the child get more involved with dress up play and perhaps make a weekend out of getting dressed up in various clothing. These are skills a child should have. Putting on their shirt pants socks and shoes. Just keep practicing!!

When your child does this on their own and they are successful I want you to praise them for doing such a wonderful job. Even if you disagree with the choice they made try to give a compliment. Let your child show their personality and show they are ready to be a big kid. It’s just the beginning.